Closed Mouth Don't Get Fed: Learning to Speak Up for Your Money

October 20, 2026

My grandmother has a saying she always used on us growing up:

"Closed mouth don't get fed."

When I was younger, I took that quite literally.

If you're hungry, you better ask for something to eat, or you're going to starve. 😂

And honestly, I had good reason to think that was what she meant.

My grandmother's love language is food. She was always in the kitchen preparing something delicious.

Whether it was gizzada, peanut drops, coconut drops, or some other Jamaican treat cooling on the kitchen counter, there was always something tempting us.

And don't even get me started on her fried dumplings!

Sometimes they disappeared faster than she could fry them, leaving only the porridge behind.

But as I've gotten older, I've come to appreciate that my grandmother wasn't just talking about food.

She was teaching us the importance of speaking up for ourselves.

When Speaking Up Feels Uncomfortable

Think about how often we remain silent when it comes to money.

Someone borrows money from us and promises to pay it back.

The agreed-upon date comes and goes.

And instead of asking for our money, we sit there wondering how to bring it up without looking grabbit.

For those unfamiliar with that Jamaican expression, grabbit is how we describe someone who seems greedy or overly eager to get something.

Imagine that.

Someone owes YOU money, but you're worried about how YOU will look for asking for it back.

Make it make sense! 😂

Or maybe you've completed a job, provided a service, or worked hours you were supposed to be compensated for, but the payment isn't what was agreed upon.

Instead of addressing it, you tell yourself:

"Maybe I should just leave it alone."

"I don't want to cause any problems."

"God will take care of it."

Now, I believe in God taking care of us.

But I also believe He gave us a voice.

And sometimes we need to use it.

Silence Can Be Expensive

I think some of this hesitation is cultural.

Many of us grew up being taught to be respectful, grateful, humble, and not make a fuss.

Those are wonderful values.

But somewhere along the way, some of us began confusing advocating for ourselves with being disrespectful.

We don't want to appear greedy.

We don't want to offend anyone.

We don't want to damage relationships.

So we stay quiet.

But here's the thing:

Being respectful doesn't mean you have to remain silent when something isn't right.

There's nothing wrong with asking someone to repay money they borrowed.

There's nothing wrong with questioning a bill that doesn't look right.

There's nothing wrong with asking for the compensation you agreed to receive.

And there's certainly nothing wrong with negotiating for better pay.

Your financial well-being matters too.

Use Your Voice

Now, I'm not suggesting we go around demanding things from everyone. There's a way to approach these conversations with kindness and respect.

But we have to become comfortable having them.

If someone owes you money, follow up.

If your paycheck is incorrect, ask questions.

If you're providing a service, communicate your rates and payment expectations clearly.

And if you don't understand something about your finances, ask until you do.

Because sometimes the difference between getting what you're entitled to and walking away empty-handed is simply being willing to have an uncomfortable conversation.

As I think back to my grandmother's kitchen, I realize she was teaching us something much bigger than how to get an extra fried dumpling.

She was reminding us that we have to speak up for what we need.

And that lesson applies just as much to our financial lives as it did to those delicious Jamaican treats.

Because a closed mouth doesn't get fed. And sometimes, a closed mouth doesn't get paid either.

Keep your money Irie!

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About the Author

Petra-Ann Brown is a financial educator, speaker, and founder of Brown Financial Solutions, LLC. Through workshops, coaching, storytelling, and her podcast Island Money 365, she helps individuals and families build financial confidence, reduce financial stress, and create lasting wealth.