Teaching Over Treating: The Sacrifices That Built Our Financial Freedom

April 14, 2025

I once saw a quote by Bruce Lee on social media that said:

“Instead of buying your children all the things you never had, you should teach them all the things you were never taught. Material wears out, but knowledge stays.”

Whew. That one hit me deep.

So much so, I often bring it up when I’m coaching parents, especially those navigating the guilt of not being able to provide everything they want for their children.

Because the truth is, we all want to give our kids better. But better doesn’t always mean more things, it means better tools. Better habits. Better mindsets.

What Financial Freedom Looks Like for Me.

In this season of life, I take great pride in being able to say yes to my children, to let them try new things, from sports to music, and explore what they enjoy. That, to me, is one of my definitions of financial freedom.

Why?

Because growing up, we didn’t have those options.

My mom couldn’t afford club sports or private music lessons. She worked hard, and she did her best, but we didn’t have the extra.

So, from the time my son was two, I enrolled him in mommy-and-me sim classes and local programs. And honestly? It brought me joy.

But eventually, I had to ask myself:

Was I doing this for him, or was I trying to fill a gap from my own childhood?

Was I providing experiences, or was I overcompensating with activities?

Making the Hard Cuts for a Bigger Goal

Those questions became even more real when my husband and I made the decision to take control of our finances and pursue financial freedom.

When we sat down and looked through our bank statements, we saw just how much money was slipping through our fingers each month. Between subscriptions, fees, and activities, we were overspending without realizing it.

And one of the first areas we trimmed?

• Extracurricular activities

• Gymnastics

• Cable and subscriptions

• Gym Memberships

• Credit cards use

  
  

We even locked away our credit cards and eventually cut them up.

And just like that, we found an extra $800/month that we redirected toward paying off debt using the snowball method.

What is the Debt Snowball Method?

The debt snowball method is a debt payoff strategy where you list all your debts from smallest to largest, regardless of interest rate.

Here’s how it works:

1. Make minimum payments on all debts except the smallest.

2. Put all extra money toward the smallest debt until it’s paid off.

3. Once it’s paid, roll that payment into the next smallest debt, creating a “snowball” effect.

4. As each balance is paid off, you gain momentum, confidence, and cash flow.

   
   

It worked for us and it’s a method I’ve recommended to many of my coaching clients who need a clear, focused way to reduce debt and build traction.

Delayed Yes, Greater Joy

Was it hard to say no in the moment? Absolutely.

But I reminded myself:

“If I say no now, I’ll be able to say YES to so much more later.”

And that’s exactly what happened.

When my son came home and said he wanted to join a track team, I was able to register him, no problem.

When he wanted to join the school’s music program an try the violin we could afford to rent the instrument.

Of course, now there are boundaries.

• He can only sign up for one activity at a time

• He must commit to finishing the season, even if he doesn’t enjoy it

• We talk about the value of showing up for your team and honoring your commitments

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It’s not about saying yes to everything, it’s about saying yes intentionally.

What If Your Child Is Older and Already Involved in Multiple Activities?

I know it’s harder when your child is older and has already been involved in a sport or program for years. That’s why communication is key.

Here’s how to approach it: Sit down with your child and explain the family’s financial situation.

Show them the cost of their program and be honest about what’s sustainable.

Ask: Is this something you really love? Or is it just something we’ve always done?

Brainstorm: Are there ways we can fund this together, can we babysit, sell crafts, or sell something you no longer use.

You might be surprised by what they say.

Some kids will get creative and others may admit they didn’t even like the activity but felt obligated to continue.

Teach the Lesson That Lasts a Lifetime

Remember that quote:

“Instead of buying your children all the things you never had, teach them all the things you were never taught.”

This includes teaching them: how to budget and plan

How to sacrifice now to build later

How to talk about money without shame

Your honesty and example could be the foundation for generational change.

Final Thoughts: Make Space for the Yes

Building financial freedom doesn’t always mean making more money.

It often starts with being honest, intentional, and willing to let go of the things that no longer serve your goals.

We said “no” for a while and now we’re saying “yes” with confidence.

Yes, to new experiences.

Yes, to peace of mind.

Yes, to a future that looks different from the one we grew up in.

So, I’ll ask you: What’s one “no” you need to say today to make space for a greater Yes tomorrow?