September 10, 2023
I love waffles. There is just something about the crisp exterior combined with the soft interior soaked with real warm maple syrup that brings me such joy. Then again, I love breakfast food. So much, that at least once a month I have breakfast at dinner. Which the family also enjoys, a win, win.
However, my 3-year-old does not like syrup. I do not understand it, but syrup is not his thing. As a result, I would make his waffle softer and serve it with a cup of soy milk. One day as I was mixing the batter for the waffles, he asked me if he could have barbeque sauce with his waffles. My first reaction was to say ‘NO’ that is disgusting, and I am sure my face reflected one of gross but before the words “honey barbecue sauce does not go with waffles” came out of my mouth a simultaneous thought came to me. Why not? I'm not eating, it is not going in my mouth. Why do I care? And who says barbecue sauce does not go with waffles?
So, I did the responsible thing.
I made the waffles, gave him half with his barbecue sauce. I watched him carefully as he dipped his waffles in the barbecue sauce and took his first bite paying close attention to his reaction and his face reflected pure bliss. While I on the other hand was trying everything not to gag or throw up. Of course, his older brother was not so polite as to keep his thought to himself. In grotesque voice he shouted, “that is disgusting”, I want to puke as he made the gaging jester. While I had the same feelings, I did not make it known. I leaned on the kitchen counter and watched as he continued to indulge, enjoy, and engrossed himself in his waffles and barbeque sauce. He asked for seconds and when he was done, he looked at me and said Mom, that was the best.
I thought about it. He was so happy and the joy on his face as he got ready for school was heartwarming. He enjoyed his waffles so much, and the thought came to me. Most of us are so caught up with what people think or what we perceive people think of us or what we want people to think or say about us that we sometimes put ourselves in financial ruin, causing us to sometimes make choices that would be contradictory to our values or our beliefs. It even causes us to shrink and lose ourselves. With my three-year-old, it did not matter what comment, sound or gesture his older brother made. He paid him no attention, he just kept eating his waffles with barbeque sauce.
There is so much pressure that we put on ourselves. The pressure you face when you come face to face with a salesperson, the pressure to keep up with the latest trend. The pressure to contribute to school events or attend birthday parties. The pressure to provide for family members because you are the only one that is financially stable, and they are looking at you as their savior or the pressure of taking care of your grown kids or grandkids when what you really want to do are things that make you happy and brings joy to your life. The list goes on and on.
How do you stop?
By taking your power back little by little. Start saying “NO” to things you just do not want to do or care about. At first you will feel some guilt, but the peace of mind you get from not being pulled in so many directions or simply having a say in what you want to do instead of feeling obligated is so worth it. You are worth it. Not only that, when you give others the room to grow and learn from their decisions you will be pleasantly surprised how much they flourish.
So, what are some areas you are struggling in that you wish you could take back your power. Leave a comment. I would love to hear from you.
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